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Making a big life change is scary

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When my cousin Jen and I were younger – like maybe 9 or 10 – we dreamed about moving across country, going from Boston to USC for college. 

Not sure why exactly USC (we were big sports fans so maybe the football team lured us?) – California seemed so exotic to us. 

The beaches, the tan surfers, the whole vibey lifestyle. 

Something so different than our childhood reality. 

When it came time to apply to colleges, off in a far corner of my mind was this vision of USC (mind you, which I had never laid eyes on).

But at that moment in my life I couldn’t fathom being an airplane ride away from everyone and everything that I had known in my young life. 

In the end I applied to schools in Boston and that’s where I went. I chose a school 45 minutes from my mom and grandparents and 5 minutes from my dad who happened to live in the city.

Already going off to college was something that I knew was going to put me out of my comfort zone. 

Not applying to USC (or any other far away place) was my first real memory of having that fear of the unknown. What would happen if I was that far away? It never occurred to me that I might have this amazing, life changing adventure. I could only focus on the what ifs. 

I get it, I wasn’t ready.

As I reflect back I can almost taste that fear of taking such massive action when I felt it just wasn’t the right moment.

Certainly my life would have had a different trajectory had I gone off to California. 

But every choice I have made in my life has led me to this exact moment. 

Sometimes it is not the right time and other times you just need to take that first step, step off the ledge and create the outcome that you want. 

Making a big life change is about courage and digging in to accept that you may make mistakes, you may fail. And that is all part of the process.

Having that dream so young I know planted a seed. A seed that was watered by attending school in Boston, surrounding myself with new people and new experiences.

Now that I am older (and wiser) I can question the things that may be limiting my ability to reinvent myself.

It can be scary for sure. But have that dream. Open up your mind to all the possibilities. Water that seed and see where it takes you.

PS I chose these Iphone photos above that I took this past Christmas. We were in NYC visiting Keith’s family after having left Boston earlier in the day spending time with my family. My kids wouldn’t be sitting on that bed, they wouldn’t be part of my life if I hadn’t taken a chance and moved to NYC after graduating from college in Boston. This is another story, my NYC days and how Keith and I met. But my point is that the little seed of going to USC that was planted as a child resulted in my having a quest for seeing what else was out there. I am so glad I watered that seed!

Trying to reflect in the 1000 foot view of my life.

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